Not A Mega Church? Building a Youth Ministry that Lasts no matter what size Church you are!

20Apr/1010

POLL: Where does Privacy apply in a Public Leadership Position

Ok folks, I need your help.  I'm working on a new blog post but I want to get some other viewpoints before I release my position on this topic sometime next week.  So I'm asking you to:

  1. Vote in the poll below
  2. Then, more importantly, explain why you voted that way.

Again, as I'm struggling to determine what the right answer is (if there is one), I would love some opinions.

As you see below, the poll is on where does privacy (i.e. your private home life - the life you lead when no one is looking) apply to a very public leadership position (i.e. a Church staff member). I understand and accept the responsibility that as a Staffer, you are held to a higher standard and your life is on display.  But what about your family?  Does everything in your private life need to be public knowledge and opened up to the "body of Christ"?  Or are there things that can remain silent or unspoken so that not everyone in your Church knows every detail of your life (as if you were that important to begin with :) )?

So please, TAKE A MINUTE and take this poll.  Then, offer up a comment and then finally pass it around to others in ministry.  It'd be great to get a good chatter going.

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9Apr/100

Keeping the Balance

Anyone who works in youth ministry (or any ministry) is constantly doing a balancing act.  For instance, youth ministers at non-mega churches have a lot of plates you have to juggle because oftentimes you are the only youth staff in charge of the whole youth program.  That means that you are responsible for all the communication, a lot of the contact work, leadership recruitment and development, curriculum and organizing/delegating just to name a few.  Mark DeVries is right on in his book Sustainable Youth Ministry when he says, "Youth workers who don't feel over their heads, who don't feel they're overwhelmed and failing at times, may simply not understand their jobs" (p.111).

Large and mega church youth ministers juggle plates as well.  They have a lot of responsibility that I cannot even imagine.  When my good youth pastor friend Barry Hill from Vienna Pres. and I meet up to talk shop, there are many times when I thank my lucky stars I do not have to do some of the things he is in charge of.  Ultimately, what I am trying to say is that there is a lot of responsibility and "weight of the world on your shoulders" mentality doing youth ministry.

When you feel this pressure to perform, oftentimes, other areas of your life can suffer.  For instance, your family life, your exercise/physical health, and your social life can all suffer because you are so focused on building a successful ministry.  Trying to juggle your ministry and the other important areas in your life can be a big balancing act.  In fact, it has unfortunately been an act that I have done a very poor job at during different times in my life.

The question is, with all that you juggle, how do keep the balance and make sure everything that you are juggling is in balance?  Here are a few suggestions I came up with:

  1. Make sure you are spending time with Christ daily.  This is a no brainer, but how can we possibly be the youth minister, father or mother, husband or wife, son or daughter, brother or sister, friend, or peer if we are not getting the true source of nourishment each and every day?
  2. Take a day off. This is where I really struggle - just being honest!  But the reality is everyone needs a day off.  God modeled it and if He found the need/time for it, then we should as well.  Simple as that.  Use this day as a day to do housework or something fun for yourself.  Take a nap or even read a good non-ministry book.
  3. Make sure you are making time for you and your family. Oftentimes youth ministers begin their careers as young single people.  It is at that point you can do whatever you want whenever you want.  God willing, you will one day get married and have children.  If that happens, make sure you take time for your family.  I have seen too many people in ministry completely neglect their family's needs because their job "needs" them.  I know this happens in the business world as well, but let's be honest - you don't get paid enough to constantly sacrifice your family's needs for your job. Sorry.  The world will not end if you turn your phone off or don't check your email at least 1 day a week.  BUT, you could be on the road to your marriage and family ending if you do not make enough time for them.  Make time before it is too late!
  4. Delegate! Jeremy Zach just did a great post in his blog about the top 9 mistakes made by youth pastors.  In it, his number 4 was to underestimate adult leader recruitment.  He states that "youth pastors like to fly solo".  I agree with that completely and unfortunately that happens way to much.  The weight of the ministry does not need to rest solely on us!  There are many people who want to help and who are capable of helping.  What we have to do is to delegate to them.  I have found that when I delegate to others, the amazing thing is that more often than not, THEY WILL STEP UP and they will be more committed because you trusted them with this responsibility!  So do yourself a favor and delegate!
  5. Eat better and exercise more. Youth ministers are known for junk food.  I don't know about you, but most youth events or meetings usually involves some fattening food. Burgers, fries, pizza, burritos, lattes or mochas.  If only McDonalds or Burger King had frequent meal purchase points, I'm sure there would be many youth ministers who would have enough to buy their own franchises.  The reality is that food is an essential part of ministry, but partaking of it in globs does not need to be our m.o.  We need to eat better and really exercise (note to self - put that McSkillet burrito down and get outside to run!).

So what about you?  How do you balance your life so that you can have a healthy one?  Post a comment on how so that we can all benefit.

In addition, TAKE A MINUTE and examine all the plates you are juggling.

  • How are you doing keeping them all up in the air?
  • Are you dropping some?
  • What changes do you need to make in your life to keep the balancing act going in healthy ways?

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18Jan/101

3 Boundaries to set up


Boundaries can be very hard to set and maintain.  But, it is important for you to set them up so that you protect yourself, your family and your ministry.  Here are some boundaries I believe we need to set up as youth ministers:

  • Set up boundaries on the hours we work. I have been both a part-time and full-time youth minister.  In both situations, I needed to be mindful to the hourly expectations.  For instance, if you are hired to be part-time, be part-time as much as possible.  We all know that when you are hired to work in ministry, you are never "part-time".  But, if a Church cannot afford to hire you full-time for whatever reason, it is your responsibility to hold to your hours.  As admirable as it may be and despite how passionately you feel about ministry, I have found that if you work more than you should, you limit other potential job opportunities (i.e., a 2nd  job to make ends meet) and the Church may never feel the need to bring you on full-time.  After all, why pay someone full-time if you are working full-time as a part-timer?  Honor what the Church expects and then some, but hold true to your hours.

    • If you are full-time, understand what your Church expects from you.  Most Churches I know of expect 40 to 50 hours a week of work.  Understand what kind of "office hours" you need to uphold and how much they expect you to be in.  Different churches have different expectations.  Also, remember that Sundays are work days so make sure that you are NOT working one day during Monday - Friday.  Limit your nights out so you can have a social life or spend time with your family.  If you work a weekend trip, that is easy 24-48 hours of work right there, so definitely take 2 days off the following week.

    In ministry, it can be very easy to work, work, work that we forget to turn off our cell-phones and not check our email.  Remember, just because you "could" or "can" do something with youth, doesn't mean you always should do it.  Believe it or not, you do have a life outside of ministry.  Therefore, give all you can to ministry, but set up healthy boundaries so you don't burn yourself, your family and friends out.

  • Set up boundaries in how you manage your time.  It can be very easy to get into the pattern of dealing with just the urgent stuff - the things that are happening that day or that week.  For instance, I often go into our Church Staff Meeting with little or nothing written on my To-Do list because I know that when I come out of that meeting, it is often filled up with "must-do" things for the week.  Those must-dos are often assigned to me by others.  I have found that if I get trapped in their urgent must-dos I forget about what is needed to be done from a strategic standpoint (i.e., curriculum ideas, trip planning, leadership recruitment and development and overall vision of the program).

    • Now, don't get me wrong, some of those "must-dos" are urgent and need to be accomplished.  But, manage your time effectively so you can hit the urgent must-dos without sacrificing your plans of what needs to get done.  If you get overwhelmed at Staff Meetings as I do, maybe you put in an hour after that meeting to handle the urgent must-dos you get assigned.  That way you honor what our Senior Pastor wants by knocking them out quickly while not sacrificing what you need to get done.

    The point is that ministry can be very A.D.D.  Unless you keep focus and find time to pursue the long term and other important aspects of your ministry, you can get caught up in the urgent "must-dos" and never be able to move your ministry to where you want and where God is leading.

  • Set up boundaries in time spent with the opposite sex. Let's be honest.  If you been in or around ministry for any amount of time, you will have heard of or know Pastors or Youth Ministers who have had affairs or inappropriate relationships with members of the opposite sex.  In just the 45 seconds I thought about it, I can count at least 8.  This is a huge problem for people in ministry and unless you are very intentional about it, you set yourself up to being caught up in this as well.

    • I have made a conscious decision to set boundaries with women.  For example, if I need to meet with a female leader, I always meet with her in a public setting (i.e, Starbucks) or at the Church with the door open so another Staff member can hear or pop in.  Even though I share an office with Katie, we leave the door open at all times.  Also, I try my hardest never to hug students, male or female (I'm not a hugger anyways, so this isn't too hard).  I never have any female student on my phone contact list and I will only call/text a female student if I need a babysitter or for her to share something at Church.

    The point is that I never want to put myself into a position where the devil has any kind of foothold in this area.  Whether or not these boundaries will work for you, my encouragement is that you need to set some boundaries up so that you can withstand Satan's attacks.  Again, too many people in ministry get taken out because of affairs or inappropriate relationships.  The moment we feel that we have won in this area is the moment Satan turns the heat up even more.  We have to be proactive, rather than reactive.

These are just 3 boundaries to set up to be successful as a person and in youth ministry.  But they are not the only ones.  So, what do you think?  What are some other boundaries you need to set up so that you can have a healthy personal and ministry life?

TAKE A MINUTE and...

  • Review the 3 boundaries I suggested to set up.  How are you doing with those boundaries?  What changes do you need to make in order to have more healthy relationships and a more healthy life?
  • Suggest another boundary to set up.  Again, there are more out there and we need to be encouraging each other so that we can be as effective as possible.  Post a comment if you have one.

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