The N.B.A. Finals and Ministry Teams Collide
I'm not a basketball fan, but I must admit, I'm was hooked on the NBA Finals this year. I loved seeing 2 legendary rivals go head-to-head against each other, battling minute by minute in effort to gain the championship trophy. The Lakers had Kobe trying, and eventually succeeding, to win his 5th NBA title while Boston had the Big 3 - Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce trying to win their 2nd title together. Again, even though I am not a basketball fan, I really did watch a lot of that final series with great interest.
Looking at how these 2 teams were assembled and function made me think of Ministry Leadership Teams. Here is what I mean by that.
The Boston Celtic's "Big 3" consist of Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce. While Kobe is still in his prime and could single handedly carry his team to victory, the Big 3 are on the later ends of their careers. While they are still effective, they are not the solo stars that they once were. They could no longer be the center pieces alone by themselves. They needed each other equally to achieve their goal of a championship. Although they failed this year, they proved they can win together by winning the championship in 2008 and returning to the finals again this year.
The Lakers are built rather differently. They are centered around Kobe Bryant, arguably the best player in the N.B.A. right now (and maybe ever, but that is a debate for another day). To me, the Lakers formed their team similar to how many churches look to form a youth ministry team - they look for the superstar and try to build around the superstar. Kobe represents the Superstar Youth Minister (or Superstar College/Young Adult Minister). As I posted a week ago here, I do not believe centering your ministry around a superstar youth ministers is a good ministry model to have. If Kobe had a bad night or 2, that could have potentially cost the Lakers a chance at winning the championship. Fortunately for them it they still won, but too much depends on him alone. There is too much focus on that 1 person.
In the same way, Youth and Young Adult Ministry Teams need to be exactly that - TEAMS. They can not be dependent on just 1 person. Sure, every ministry team needs a Head Leader, but to expect that person to single-handedly produce superstar results week in and week out is unrealistic. That is where a well-equipped and trained team comes into play. The Celtics, even though they failed to win the championship this year, have a great model in place. They formed a team that complimented each other and added different strengths to the TEAM. So together, as a unit, they were great. They didn't rely solely on 1 player to pull them through. That means that unlike the Lakers, if one of the "Big 3" players had an off night or got injured (as Kevin Garnett did earlier in the year, it would not have as big of an impact.
So, when you are looking at forming your Youth or Young Adult TEAM, here are some things to keep in mind:
- Find people who are teachable. Youth and Young Adult are an ever changing demographic. As they change, our strategy to reach them must change (Please note, I said strategy, not philosophy). We must adapt as they adapt. That means, we need people who are willing to learn and adapt with them. Ministry team members who get stuck into a certain "way" or pattern of doing things, who believes they know the 100% right way to do ministry is not someone who is going to be helpful to your ministry goals. You need people who are willing to learn and try new things for the sake of the kingdom. Just because it worked in the '90s doesn't mean it can work today.
- Find people who are flexible and can roll with the punches. There is nothing normal about Youth and Young Adult ministry. You may have early morning breakfasts with students, lunch or even late night movies. You may dress up 1 night for a luau and the next night give an in-depth Bible study. You may also have something planned to minister to 40 students, but only a few people show up. What do you do then? You have to be flexible and roll with the punches. If something does not go as planned, that does not mean that God will not and cannot use it for His glory. He can do anything, we just have to be flexible, go with it and see where the Lord leads and what He chooses to do with it.
- Don't just target 1 type of leader. The key word is diversity! Do not just look for all young adults to lead your team. Look for everyone - parents, singles, young/old married couples, college students. It doesn't matter. For example, even though Celtic Big 3 worked together great, they had additional help. In particular, they had this young, very talented player named Rondo. Rondo is a young gun who energized and inspired the rest of the team with his play. In the same way, you need a diverse team to reach all students. That means you need to look for diversity in ethnic background as well. Again, to reach all students, that means you need to have all types of leaders to reach them. Do not limit what God can do with all sorts of people who have all sorts of backgrounds.
So, as you are looking at forming or adding to your ministry team, take into consideration the above 3 suggestions. They are not the only 3 suggestions you should consider, but they are 3 that I have learned over the years that do make a big difference.
TAKE A MINUTE right now and look at the above 3 suggestions and see how your team stacks up against them. Do you have people who are teachable, flexible and diverse? If not, what do you need to do to find team members like that? Also, how can you help train your team to be like that? Finally, pray to God that he can provide you additional team members to reach the students He has blessed you with.
If you have a thought or comment, please post one so that we can all benefit from your experience.
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When was the last time you…
- Called a fringe student?
- Said a hard word to a student or leader?
- Took a day off?
- Recognize a leader for all their hard work?
- Went on a date with your significant other or spouse?
- Turned off your phone or computer?
- Lead someone to the Lord?
- Went up to the school after school or during lunch to hang with students?
- Spent time actually studying scripture for yourself and not for others?
- Sacrificed your own plans so that another department (i.e. Children's ministry) can do something instead?
- Did contact work with parents?
- Exercised?
There are many times when we get caught up in the day-to-day administrative activities of being a "youth minister" that we forget some really important things that we need to do. This is just a small sample of things that many of us love to do but get sidetracked from doing.
So right now, TAKE A MINUTE and re-read this list. Is there something on this list that you haven't done in a while? If so, do it this week. Then see how God impacts your life, another person's life and/or your ministry this week because you did 1 or more of these items you may have forgotten about.
Also, if I missed something on this list, feel free to add it so that we can be encouraging each other to not just be better youth ministers but better followers of Christ as well.
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Summer Idea: Partner with Other Ministries or Churches
Last year I posted about the benefits of partnering with other ministries and Churches (click here to read it). Partnering with others has benefited our ministry greatly over the years.
As summer is fast approaching, it is not too late to be planning activities. In particular, it is not too late to be planning activities with other Churches or ministries. Here are 3 reasons why you should partner with other ministries over the summer:
- It provides a critical mass. As you know summer is filled with camps, summer school, vacations and other activities that take students away. That means typical "Youth Group" and youth group events are much smaller than usual. By partnering with other ministries, you are opening up the door for more students to come out to whatever you choose to do. Having that critical mass definitely provides a more exciting environment for all the students who do come out.
- It promotes the body of Christ. The Body of Christ is not just limited to your Church or ministry. It includes all believers. By joining forces with another ministry over the summer for some events (please note, not all events, just a few), it shows your students that God is bigger than just your group. It can open up opportunities for them to meet new friends and even see people from their school that they didn't know were believers or not. By combining groups occasionally during the summer, this promotes fellowship, unity and accountability in the body of Christ.
- It gives you a break. By partnering with others, it provides an opportunity for you to not have full ownership of an event or program. You can actually have a break from programming and planning! For example, you can rotate your meeting around to different Churches or sites where that particular Youth Leadership Team provides all the programming and resources for the night. If that happens, all you have to do is to show up and bring students. If you can do this, you get a break and can focus on some other things that need to be addressed that week.
I believe partnering with other ministries and Churches over the summer is a huge win-win for everyone involved. Who knows, if it turns out to be a success, this might pave the way for future partnerships over the course of the year.
So right now, TAKE A MINUTE and think about this idea of partnering with other Churches this summer. Are there any opportunities for you to do that? If so, target a few Churches and give them a call to try to organize. At the very least, you might be able to develop relationships with some new youth pastors because of it.
Also, if you have a thought or idea that you have seen work in regards to this topic, post a comment so we can all benefit!
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Why I am BACK on Facebook
So, I've made it a week without Facebook. I deactivated it and then took the App off my iPhone. It has actually been a really good week without Facebook.
However, on Tuesday I found out that I was going to be taking the primary role in Cedar Run's College and Young Career Ministry this Summer. In years past, I have always been involved with this ministry as a person who helps transitions the high school graduates into this new ministry. But this year the Church Leadership has asked me to be the primary leader and organize this group to get some momentum behind it. This is something I am really looking forward to doing as I LOVE to create new programs and groups. And, I am going to love reconnecting with old students.
But, because of the short time frame I have to work to get this program started this summer, I know I need to use every tool I can to reconnect with a lot of old students. Considering these students do not love emails so much and I don't have all their cell numbers, I am going to HAVE to reactivate my Facebook account!
For all that I do not like about Facebook, the 1 great ministry tool it does do is it connects the masses of people all together. It allows me to get all the information out that I need to get out to a bunch of people at the same time.
So, I'm reactivating my account and I'm going to use it to kick butt in this new ministry opportunity I have. But please, in my attempt to re-engage in this social media try to keep your Mafia Wars, your Farmville Animals and your Jammin' Java concert invites to yourselves 
.
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Why I am quitting Facebook
I'm quitting Facebook today. Yep, I'm gonna make it happen. I'm going to deactivate my account in hopes to never turn it back on again. So, I'm saying good-bye to my 531 friends (many of whom I haven't talked to seen in years). I'm saying good-bye to all the Mafia War invites and learning who needs what for their Farm Town collection. I'm saying good-bye all the changes in privacy rules.
There are a few reasons why I am quitting Facebook, but since this is my ministry blog, I will outline the main ministry reason why I am doing this.
The main ministry reason why I am quitting Facebook is because I only use it for ministry. Say What?!?! Isn't that a really good reason to keep it? Actually, it is. But it is also the reason to delete it. See, with Facebook you can easily keep tabs on people at all times - which is good. But, it takes the relationship aspect out if it. I can know what is going on with someone in my youth program without really being with that person and truly knowing them. In youth ministry we strive to model Christ's incarnational ministry. He came to Earth to meet us where we are in order to build a relationship with us that will lead us to loving relationship with God. With Facebook, I'm not doing that. It is not helping me develop relationships with people. it only allows me to see what they are doing and making a comment about it. That's not relationship building. It is "knowing" someone without really "knowing" them. I have found that Facebook actually takes away physical time that I should be having with students because I "know" what they are up to anyways. That's not the way I should be operating as an Incarnational Youth Minister.
Now, don't get me wrong. Facebook has been and can be a great tool for ministry. But in the grand scheme of things, I believe it will help me be a better youth minister without it, then with it.
So, bye Facebook! It was great knowing you. It's not you, it's me. I'm moving on.
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How do you remain healthy?
I have said before in previous posts that the life youth ministers engage in when they accept the call to minister to students is far from normal. I am not saying it is wrong, it is just different.
Because of this lack of normalcy, youth ministers have to go the extra mile to make sure they are living a healthy lifestyle. With all the demands and stresses that youth ministers face in ministry as well as their personal lives it is vitally important for them to remain healthy and fit. As I was telling a friend of mine about a recent balancing act I have been doing, he suggested that I stop and focus first on getting healthy myself. He challenged me that the only way I can make it through this recent juggling act is if I was taking care of myself - physically, spiritually and emotionally.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
To honor God with our body, we have to nurture ourselves and stay healthy. We cannot neglect what our body needs. But how do you do this? It sounds good, but what are some practical ways for you to get healthy in your life so that you can be more fit for yourself, your family and your ministry? Let's look at a few ways.
- Physically. You can start making yourself healthy in how you take care of your body. As a youth minister it is easy to eat fast food and snacks, to stay up late as well as meet students for breakfast and to be "on" at all times during the day. With all the physical demands on your body, it is no wonder why there are so many who burn out. Because you can have very draining and stressful days, not even including if you have a spouse and children (That adds a whole different dynamic to time commitments to be discussed another time), you have to take care of our physical bodies. In order to keep your body fit and strong one thing you can do is to go out and exercise. It can be running, walking, lifting weights or all of them. Whatever you choose to do, the important thing is that you are getting out and exercising. You also need to watch what you eat! Teenagers eat like crazy and can devour tons of junk food and let it not pack on the pounds. I remember those days very well! But as you get older, it is harder to lose those pounds you put on. Therefore, you need to cut out all the extra eating so that you can stay in better shape. Remember, if our bodies break down because we are not healthy and fit, we will not be effective in reaching students or our families for Christ. We owe it to them, but most importantly, we owe it to OURSELVES.
- Spiritually. Spend time with Christ! This sounds like a no-brainer, but I'm talking about spending personal time with Him - not because you are doing message prep or you are looking for a verse for a student. This is you spending time with Christ for YOUR BENEFIT! It can be very easy to confuse message prep scripture reading with your own personal devotion time. I have done this many times. Sure, I get something out of it, but I have to dig deeper and study for my own benefit. When I read something that I am not trying to teach, I get so much out of it and I am also able to encourage others (even students) with my learnings. It makes me more effective because students know that this is hitting me and is real to me as I seek to apply it to my personal life! It's not just something I am saying because I'm speaking about it at youth group. So take some time and spend time with Christ just for you!
- Emotionally. Basically, you need to Vent and go to counseling. Don't let the stigma that if you are going to a counselor you have serious "issues" affect your decision to seek counsel. After all the countless hours youth ministers spend giving to others and listening to their cries for help, it can be overwhelming at times to take on their pain and burden. You have to vent somehow. You cannot keep it all inside you. There is only so much you can bear so it is vitally important to have someone you can vent to. You need to get it off your chest somehow or else it is going to keep eating at you. Also, RELAX. Watch some movies by yourself or with your spouse. Take time to have emotional check-out times. In this very busy world we are raised up that if you are not "on" all the time or doing something you are a loser. Even though we all know that is not true in theory, the reality is that in the realm of youth ministry if you do not take time to relax and enjoy yourself, your family and your spouse you are going to wake up one day wondering where it all went.
Being challenged by my friend to be healthy has been a great exercise for me. For example, I just started running. The thing is I HATE RUNNING! But I know that it is moving towards ME being HEALTHY and FIT! My runs have not been long ones, but I am trying to run for at least 30 minutes each day. In that running, I put on some awesome music (some secular and some Christian) on my iPod. But, it was funny, when I ran to the secular music, I was mad and angry at life. I got all worked up over the smallest things. But then, when I ran to Christian music, my shift focused from anger to God. It was as if God was ministering to me and nurturing me as I ran. As I ran and lifted my eyes up to the heavens, I cried, I praised Him, I allowed him to rest over me. I ran with a higher purpose in mind. As I ran and focused on Christ, my mindset focused on trusting God's will and allowing Him to take care of me - wherever He leads me. I will be at peace about it because I know that God is going to take care of me.
- Start planning some ways you can be healthy in your own life. Do you need to start exercising or stop eating so much? Do you need to go to the movies with some "non ministry" buddies or even by yourself? Do you need to vent off some steam to someone else? What are some practical steps you can take this week to get yourself more healthy?
- Then, just do it! Start full force and don't look back. Allow God to minister to you and soak it in!
By the way, if you are interested, the 3 songs I run to the most were:
- "O Praise Him" by David Crowder Band
- "Speaking Louder than Before" by Jeremy Camp
- "Until the Whole World hears" by Casting Crowns.
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4 Things Youth Ministry could learn from A.A.
I was talking to a friend of mine recently about A.A. and I quickly realized that I can learn from one of the most successful organizations around. Sure, they don't blow through Quarterly Earnings like Apple Inc. does but A.A. has a philosophy that is fundamentally sound and is quiet effective in helping people stay sober for a lifetime.
Going to this meeting, listening to others share and feeling the environment within the group, I learned a lot. I saw that there was much we, as believers and Youth Ministers, can take away from this organization and apply directly to our lives and ministry. Here is what I think we could learn from and apply:
- Sponsorship is key. Finding a sponsor for an alcoholic or adict is key to recovery. This is a person who holds you strictly accountable to not drinking. They will call you at any point in the day and expect you to answer and talk with them. One person shared that he was called at 12:15 am and said that he answered the phone because if he didn't, "there would be hell to pay" the next day. The level of accountability is very high with consequences higher. They need someone to help them walk through the daily battle of sobriety.
- They keep the memories fresh. The Old Testament is filled with the followers of God setting up memorials to Him for the great work He had done for them. Those memories were used to tell the story of how God brought them through a particular time in their history. They use those memorials to remember and tell the story to others. In the same way, at A.A., I heard someone say that he keeps coming back to remember how bad he was and to encourage those newcomers that they can make it. They remember the past so they do not have to relive the pain and the tragedy.
- Everyone is welcome. At A.A., they say the only requirement to join is the desire to stop drinking. It doesn't matter if you are black or white, rich or poor, young or old, if you have the desire to stop drinking, you are more than welcomed to join.
- One Day at a time. What a great saying! Their goal is to not drink one day at a time. They are not focused on the rest of their life, just that one particular day at a time. They wake up and decided that day, "I will not drink". They are not concerned about the next day or the day after that.
HOW THIS APPLIES TO YOUTH MINISTRY: We need tough accountability as we disciple students. Students don't need people to cheer them on as they teeter with the "grays" of following Christ. They need people to call them at 11 pm or 12 am and see if they are staying away from that party they promised you they wouldn't go to. They need mentors to hold them accountable so they can make those tough calls. Staying sober is far from easy with alcoholics. That is why they need tough love. Staying a believer is hard to do in life, especially the teen years. They need tough love to keep them on track to becoming a disciple for Christ long term.
HOW THIS APPLIES TO YOUTH MINISTRY: Are we raising up our youth to remember what God has done in their lives? Do they remember just how bad things were before we met Christ? God does mighty works in the lives of students all the time. Sometimes they are small works that lead to big works or sometime they are huge acts that blow people away (figuratively of course) with amazement and wonder. The point is that we are helping students remember all that God has done for them, especially how He brought them from death to life. That will encourage them and help stay a disciple for Christ long term. On a side note, it is also a great reminder for us as believers. Do we take time to reflect on all that Christ has done for us, given us and brought us from? HE IS A MIGHTY GOD who had DONE MIGHT WORKS in our lives. Let's not forget what Christ has brought us from as well!
HOW THIS APPLIES TO YOUTH MINISTRY: I know we say this a lot at Church and in our youth programs, but is everyone really welcome to come? Does a student who has severe ADD or ADHD really feel welcomed? Or do they feel that they are just annoying people? Does a girl who "gets around" feel welcomed? Or does she hear the same whispers she hears at school? Does the long haired, tattooed, t-shirt wearing guy feel welcomed? Or do people stay away from him not wanting to "upset" or "anger" him? The point is to have a plan to make sure every student feels welcomed and cared for the moment they walk into the door. Do you have that plan in place? Everyone matters to God and if they feel the same negative way at church that they feel at other places, why would they ever come back. Christ calls us to love all people, so no matter what they look like or how they act, as believers, we need to be loving them.
HOW THIS APPLIES TO YOUTH MINISTRY:
In the same way, our relationship with Christ, especially for youth, should be focused on one day at a time. To non-believers espeically, when you commit your life to Christ and throw away the past temptations of parties, hook-ups or other temporal pleasures, it is hard to say I can be committed to Christ for eternity. But, if you give them the mindset that following Christ is one day at a time, it is more manageable and they could probably have a greater impact. After all, if following Christ is one day at a time, you might take more risks for Him. You might spend more time with Him, therefore receiving wisdom about a situation in life you are involved with. God might be able to do so much more in our lives if we just give him the opportunity and take it one day at a time. One day at a time is a great philosophy because it focuses people on following the Lord and doing all for him as you can that one particular day at a time.
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Where does Privacy apply to a Public Position?
This is a follow up to the poll I did 2 weeks ago. I appreciate everyone who voted on the poll and made a comment. They were very helpful as I continue to process this interesting debate.
I will preface this post by saying that this is something that I have been debating in my head for the past 9 months. Even thought I will state a position on this, I am NOT saying I am right. This is just how I view things and what God is teaching me. I believe that this debate, especially in small to medium size churches, has HUGE potential to impact both your ministry and family at the same time. So whether you have, are currently in or will in the future deal with this issue, it think that it is extremely important that you have thought through on how you will handle it.
The Debate
Where does privacy apply to being in a public Church Leadership position? Do you, as a Church staffer have the right to your privacy in your personal life or should everything be made public?
On one side there will be people who argue that you have the right to your privacy. They will argue that as long as your ministry is not being compromised, that you are acting with full integrity of the spiritual position and that you are fulfilling your job description you have been called to, you have that right to privacy.
On the other side, there will be people who argue that as a public spiritual leader, your private life is public. Sure, not everything in your private life needs to be shared, but when it comes to struggles or tough situations for you or your family, the congregation has the right to know what is going on. This “side” will argue that if you are transparent with who you are, then God will work and that the body of Christ will surround this person and family with love, support and compassion.
My Position
If you have been involved in ministry for any number of years, or even months, you will know that a ministry job is not your normal 9-5, Monday thru Friday job. We work on the weekends, at nights, in the early mornings. We get paid less than most other professionals with the same amount of experience. We work on the football fields, at Starbucks or in the mall. We are not able to worship in our own Church the same way members of our congregation can. After all, Sunday is a workday. I do not need to go much further for you to get the point - there is very little that is considered "normal" when you work in a ministry position - especially youth ministry.
Because there is this lack of normalcy in being a minister, this debate is not easily decided. There is a lot of “grey” in this debate. For example, when you feel that the Lord is calling you to accept the job as “minister” you are held to a different standard. As a Youth Pastor, I understand and accept that responsibility and my calling. In Titus 1:7-9, Paul points out that we are held to a higher standard as “overseers” and “elders”. Again, this is a standard I accept and affirm. I know that if I were to struggle with certain things, such as adultery or illegal drug use (which I never have), these are some of things that need to be brought into the light. But, where do the boundaries lie between what Paul calls us to and what other people’s expectations (unfair or not) are? Let me explain.
Does this same standard that Paul outlined in Titus apply to your family as well? Just because I have accepted that role and responsibility of the higher standard, does that mean they have to accept that same role and responsibility? Obviously, as spouses and parents, we desire for our whole family to follow the Lord with as much passion as we do. But just because we have committed to follow the Lord and serve Him in a position of authority, does that mean the rest of our family is held to that exact same standard that Paul outlines in Titus 1?
Ultimately, what I am getting at is I think our views of who our “overseers” should be are out whack. The biblical standards are right on, but I think that over time, this has caused our congregations to expect ministers to be perfect. It is almost like they hold ministers up to such a high standard that they are not given the opportunity to fail or struggle. I do not believe that this is intentional or malicious in any way, but I believe that most people in the congregation almost expect ministers to be hold a Christlike standard - perfection. They place pastors and their families on pedestals where they do not allow for struggles to happen. I’m sorry, but just because they are the pastor or a member of his/her family does not mean they cannot struggle. Yet people put them (even spouses) into positions of authority and respect and glorify their every move. Why? Because he/she is the Pastor or a member of his/her family?!? They are "supposed" to do certain things and act a certain way. I believe that because of this, the pressure that the congregation, sometimes indirectly, put on ministers, spouses and family to perform is too great and very unrealistic. Not everyone is geared that way.
I believe that we have to have realistic expectations of our “overseers”. I believe that Paul was right on when he challenged Titus and Timothy (1 Timothy 3:1-9). But I also believe that people have taken that standard and have expected perfection from them and their families; something that is completely unrealistic for them to ever be able to accomplish.
Ultimately, I believe in privacy and that Church Staffers have the right to privacy as they go through a tough time. However, as I have seen, it is not that easy of a decision to make – protect staffers privacy. As I pointed out above and will describe below, there is a lot of “grey” here and protecting ones privacy affects more people than just the staffer and their family.
A Balancing Act
Working in small to medium sized churches and ministries all my life, I know that "community" is a big component in those ministries. After all, as 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 points out, we are all part of the body of Christ. That means, when one part of the body suffers, we all suffer. So, ideally, when a struggling person or family unit comes into the mix, the community would surround and help them through this difficult time. When this person or family is within the congregation, I have seen such great ministry happen.
The only problem that I have seen in promoting “community” in past situations is when it comes down to a Church staffer and their family. Although people say they want community and for things to be in the light, when they do come into the light, how does that “community” respond? Does the community surround the Church staffer and their family? Or does uproar happens and the staffer and family are kicked to the curb? How does the Church leadership respond? Will they support and encourage or dump and run? Unfortunately, when it comes to Church Staffers, I have seen “community” turn into a nightmare on so many levels.
Ultimately, I believe that if you are a community of believers that means you give grace when grace is needed, forgiveness when forgiveness is needed and you discipline when discipline is needed. It is definitely a balancing act. I cannot say that there is a right or wrong way to respond. Each situation has to be carefully addressed depending on the circumstances. Church leadership definitely has to play a huge role and will have to stand by some pretty hard decisions.
A Final Thought
What I have learned and seen over the years is that if a Church staffer is going through a difficult time in their personal, private life it affects more than just that person and family. It affects the other church staff as well. Therefore, if the Church chooses to be silent on that matter in order to protect the staffer and their family while they go through this difficult time, there should be a few things in place:
- A Company Line. What will the staff say if people from the congregation ask them what is going on with so-and-so? If the staffers do not know exactly what to say, you have put them into an awkward position of lying or coming up with something on their own that may not be entirely accurate – again, lying. By deciding as a staff what to say, you are protecting your staffer but also giving the other staff a peace of mind as to what to say.
- Encourage a small group “Community”. When a staffer and their family are going through a tough time, it can be easy to be the “Lone Ranger” and keep 100% silent on the matter. Instead of being the Lone Ranger, they need to surround themselves with people who can care and support them. This is not the whole church (as described above), but at least a few other people and/or couples that can help them. Remember, the battle we all wage, although private, is a spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:12). Satan is extremely powerful and ready to devour (1 Peter 5:8). By surrounding themselves with a few people in community, I believe God can work more powerfully through the situation.
- Be prepared for fall out. If not handled appropriately and the congregation feels blindsided by a revelation after the fact that they believed was “covered up”, then there could be some serious resentment and fallout (i.e. members leave the church). I have seen this happen and it becomes very messy. There is no possible way for the church leadership to be fully prepared for the reaction the congregation makes, but they have to be prepared for fall out. They have to be prepared to stand by their decisions, knowing full well that if viewed incorrectly, it could cause some real frustration and people leaving.
I believe AND I HAVE SEEN that if you do not have these things in place, it will cause frustration within the staff and with the members of the Church.
As I stated in the beginning, this is strictly my opinion and I may have only scratched the service. But I want to challenge you to TAKE A MINUTE and think through…
- How will you respond when the privacy and public knowledge lines get blurred? What will you do and how will protect without being deceitful?
- How can you continue to protect yourself and your family? How can you keep them focused on the Lord and lead them?
If you have something you want to add to this, please voice your opinion. I just ask that you respect the opinions of others and allow everyone to voice their thoughts. I believe that this is not a black and white issue, so there are many shades of gray. If you have experienced this blurred line before, please comment on that as I think it gets more blurry as you walk through it.
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Community Matters
Just recently, I had to have a sit down with one of our newer volunteer leaders. The other volunteers were frustrated as they felt he was contributing anything to the team or the ministry. So my purpose was to sit down and talk with him about what was going on. What I found out was that very early on, when he decided to be a leader, he did not feel like he was apart of the "community" of leaders at Cedar Run. He did not feel that the other leaders accepted him so he intentionally disengaged from them and never fully got on board. I can not tell you if he was right or wrong, but it was his perception and we know that a person's perception is their reality.
What I ultimately got out of that meeting and left with was the fact that community matters. As Youth Directors and Leaders, we all know the value of building community with your volunteer leaders and needs to be a vital part of your ministry. If you do not understand ways to develop community with your volunteer leaders, check it out here, here and here. Having effective leaders starts with the community that is developed between the leaders. If a leader does not feel apart of the community, then he or she will not be as effective as he/she can be. The above example is a perfect case in point.
I've outlined ways before, here are a few more ways you can engage your youth leadership team as a community:
- Go out and do fun things together. Go out and play laser tag together or have dinner together. Or go watch a minor league baseball game together. The point is to go do "friendship" things together so that leaders do not feel that all you, the Youth Director, care about is what they can do for the ministry. By going out and having fun together, you are showing them that you want to be with them and that you genuinely like them. That goes a long way to building a good leadership team.
- When you have leaders meeting, spend some time talking more than just "business". Talk about how you all are doing personally and how you all can be praying for each other. If all you do is sit around and talk "shop", then you are missing a great opportunity to be real with each other and get to really know each other.
- Make sure you are connecting with them individually. Sometimes leaders will feel more a part of the group if they are connecting with the Head Leader, which is you. So make sure you are taking time out to connect individually with all your leaders on a regular basis.
Although you can do a lot to build community in your ministry, I have also found out that community is a two-way street. You may have all the above things in place, but like my leader example above, have leaders who still feel disengaged or not apart of the community. The leaders have to take it upon themselves to want to be apart of community. You cannot force community and make people want to hang out with each other. They have to want it just as much. So what I challenge all my leaders is that if they want to feel apart of the community, as a leader, have:
- make an extra effort to engage with the other leaders
- come to leader meetings and leader events so that you know what is going on in the ministry but also have the opportunity to get to know the leaders in a different setting.
These are just two action steps they can do. But I believe that if they make the effort in these two areas, they will feel more apart of the leadership community.
The reality is community matters. If your leadership team works together and functions as a community, there is going to be a great benefit to them and to the students. If you all fail to build an effective community, then the leaders and students will suffer.
So, TAKE A MINUTE and...
- Examine your leadership team. Are you building community within the group or are people feeling disengaged and not contributing?
- What can you do this week to build a community of leaders that are going to go after Christ and the youth at your Church together?
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Keeping the Balance
Anyone who works in youth ministry (or any ministry) is constantly doing a balancing act. For instance, youth ministers at non-mega churches have a lot of plates you have to juggle because oftentimes you are the only youth staff in charge of the whole youth program. That means that you are responsible for all the communication, a lot of the contact work, leadership recruitment and development, curriculum and organizing/delegating just to name a few. Mark DeVries is right on in his book Sustainable Youth Ministry when he says, "Youth workers who don't feel over their heads, who don't feel they're overwhelmed and failing at times, may simply not understand their jobs" (p.111).
Large and mega church youth ministers juggle plates as well. They have a lot of responsibility that I cannot even imagine. When my good youth pastor friend Barry Hill from Vienna Pres. and I meet up to talk shop, there are many times when I thank my lucky stars I do not have to do some of the things he is in charge of. Ultimately, what I am trying to say is that there is a lot of responsibility and "weight of the world on your shoulders" mentality doing youth ministry.
When you feel this pressure to perform, oftentimes, other areas of your life can suffer. For instance, your family life, your exercise/physical health, and your social life can all suffer because you are so focused on building a successful ministry. Trying to juggle your ministry and the other important areas in your life can be a big balancing act. In fact, it has unfortunately been an act that I have done a very poor job at during different times in my life.
The question is, with all that you juggle, how do keep the balance and make sure everything that you are juggling is in balance? Here are a few suggestions I came up with:
- Make sure you are spending time with Christ daily. This is a no brainer, but how can we possibly be the youth minister, father or mother, husband or wife, son or daughter, brother or sister, friend, or peer if we are not getting the true source of nourishment each and every day?
- Take a day off. This is where I really struggle - just being honest! But the reality is everyone needs a day off. God modeled it and if He found the need/time for it, then we should as well. Simple as that. Use this day as a day to do housework or something fun for yourself. Take a nap or even read a good non-ministry book.
- Make sure you are making time for you and your family. Oftentimes youth ministers begin their careers as young single people. It is at that point you can do whatever you want whenever you want. God willing, you will one day get married and have children. If that happens, make sure you take time for your family. I have seen too many people in ministry completely neglect their family's needs because their job "needs" them. I know this happens in the business world as well, but let's be honest - you don't get paid enough to constantly sacrifice your family's needs for your job. Sorry. The world will not end if you turn your phone off or don't check your email at least 1 day a week. BUT, you could be on the road to your marriage and family ending if you do not make enough time for them. Make time before it is too late!
- Delegate! Jeremy Zach just did a great post in his blog about the top 9 mistakes made by youth pastors. In it, his number 4 was to underestimate adult leader recruitment. He states that "youth pastors like to fly solo". I agree with that completely and unfortunately that happens way to much. The weight of the ministry does not need to rest solely on us! There are many people who want to help and who are capable of helping. What we have to do is to delegate to them. I have found that when I delegate to others, the amazing thing is that more often than not, THEY WILL STEP UP and they will be more committed because you trusted them with this responsibility! So do yourself a favor and delegate!
- Eat better and exercise more. Youth ministers are known for junk food. I don't know about you, but most youth events or meetings usually involves some fattening food. Burgers, fries, pizza, burritos, lattes or mochas. If only McDonalds or Burger King had frequent meal purchase points, I'm sure there would be many youth ministers who would have enough to buy their own franchises. The reality is that food is an essential part of ministry, but partaking of it in globs does not need to be our m.o. We need to eat better and really exercise (note to self - put that McSkillet burrito down and get outside to run!).
So what about you? How do you balance your life so that you can have a healthy one? Post a comment on how so that we can all benefit.
In addition, TAKE A MINUTE and examine all the plates you are juggling.
- How are you doing keeping them all up in the air?
- Are you dropping some?
- What changes do you need to make in your life to keep the balancing act going in healthy ways?
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Tom's Twitter Updates
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Past Posts
- The Youth & V.B.S. at work – Days 4 & 5
- The Youth & V.B.S. at work – Day 3
- The Youth & V.B.S. at work – Day 2
- The Youth & V.B.S. at work – Day 1
- GUEST POST: Beyond our Sandbox
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